welcome to the mental health hotline

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welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by cymbalta on Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:34 am

think some of this is just too funny (i like the last 2 the best!)

here you are. enjoy.

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."
* If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1
repeatedly.

* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to
press 2 for you.

* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5,
and 6.

* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what
you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will
be transferred to the mother ship.

* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
small voice will tell you which number to press.

* If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter
which number you press; no one will answer.

* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name,
address, telephone number, date of birth, social
security number, and your mother's maiden name.

* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a
message after the beep or before the beep or after the
beep. Please wait
for the beep.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All
of
our operators are too busy to talk to you.

* If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan,
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

* If you are blonde, please don't press any buttons;
you'll just mess it up.

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Re: welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by Dazzler on Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:24 am

Hahahahaha! This is so funny. I really like it Very Happy

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Re: welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by TamasineK on Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:51 pm

Ha ha, loved the:
"If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name,
address, telephone number, date of birth, social
security number, and your mother's maiden name." Very Happy
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Re: welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by cymbalta on Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:50 pm

believe it or not, that used to be much longer. there was like 40 diffrent ones. but i'm not sure what happened to the others, i think the site removed them.

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Re: welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by Dazzler on Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:29 am

Oh yeah? It must have been fun reading the full part of it Very Happy. I like this one better:
"If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you."

lol!

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Re: welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by cymbalta on Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:01 pm

yes, the original version was a lot of fun.

shame that they went and changed it.

aded some, removed some etc.

but at least the joke is still there.

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Re: welcome to the mental health hotline

Post by Dazzler on Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:36 pm

Yeah, it's still funny and that's what matters. Thanks for sharing cymbalta! Very Happy

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