Listening to ourselves

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Listening to ourselves

Post by kaynil on Sun Oct 17, 2010 4:57 pm

Okay I am not good with titles and probably this one is not even fitting but if it spark your curiosity to come here is good enough for me.

Today i want to share with you something I found out helped me understanding myself a bit better. Sometimes I would feel guilty and sabotage my way around into this negative cloud of feelings, even when even for the world I wasn't doing anything big of deal to react the way I did.

I'll try to explain it and I hope it can help give a bit of tranquility to you too if you can relate with it.

One are the things we believe in, our sets of morals our right and wrongs and another are our thoughts and actions towards every decision life throws at us. In the end what we choose or not depends on us, even if we felt the world pressuring us to act certain way. Our beliefs however, they are inside of us and they won't depend on other people opinions directly. To put it simpler, when we say 'yes' when we know inside that what we want is a 'no' it will bring a discordance within ourselves, a small conflict where we reject ourselves in order to be more what we think is better, usually according to others. If you find yourself often doing this, I think you soon start feeling like you don't know who you are or what you are. You get swallow in a spiral of conflicts within you. making harder each time to stand for yourself, at the same time you feel heavier the pressure to neglect your feelings in order to be 'normal'.

(I feel i am making no sense xD )

Anyway, it is a hard chain to break, but it can be broken. It takes a lot of consciousness and courage and constancy, but I have slowly making progress. Remember the 30 tips to make life better? They might seem harder but they will become easier once you put them in practice, the important thing is that whatever you do, you do it because you believe it is good for you.

You have to take a leap of faith and give more credit to yourself, so if someone asks you expecting you to say yes, say "no" if that is what you truly wish. I understand the fear of disappointment, but you will learn that it is unavoidable no matter what you choose, and the only people who will feel disappointed are the people who are planning your life for you instead of accepting you as you come. You have to give yourself credit even in the smaller things and said things, said derails are the ones I recommend you to start with.

To keep your head cool, you can try having a notebook to write down pros and cons as objectively as possible when you need to take a decision, but make sure in the end you give importance to yourself. As you take more i account your feelings and thoughts and pour them into action, you will feel more satisfied with your choices and this will give you the strength to face opposition because this time, you know it comes from you.

When we're kids we feel this satisfaction often, even with the dorkiest things, it is because we do not measure them with others, we just do them because we act in accordance to our thoughts and beliefs, we felt guilt as a kids too, because we knew it was wrong what we'd do, but if we didn't get why it was wrong... it was the base for us to learn to neglect our own feelings and act according to others instead of what make us happy.

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Re: Listening to ourselves

Post by cymbalta on Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:44 am

i think that's great you linked to 1 of my threads.

Smile

makes me feel so good just seeing that link

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